Ultimate Segment

Episode 17 - Picture This: We Were Both Butt Naked, Bangin' On The Bathroom Floor

'I want to talk about my fear of aliens, stop bringing up Proust.' Are yoyos having a blast, or are they more of a "silent witness"? Tim has a thing for women in the Navy and Tristan's cat Postie is dubbed an enfant terrible.
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Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 16 (with Nathan Hugh Robért) - Susan Sontag the Hedgehog

Stand up comedian Nathan Hugh Robért (NHR) tells us all about how he broke up with his first girlfriend three times. We talk about the time Tristan and a friendlicked a businessman on the way home during their first year at uni. NHR recites a beautiful ham poem about a particular type of ham he's been buying from a local butcher. It features the line 'If the ham was an actor, it would be Ashton Kutcher'. 
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.comNathan Hugh Robért on Instagram.
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 15 - Nobody Puts Piglet in the Corner

When were you born when you first learned about 'about face'? This week we allude to the podcast, Tim explains New Caledonia, the fact that Piglet wears a pink jumper is pointed out lest anyone mistake that for part of his raw body, and we encounter a robot voice issue around 31 minutes in. I'm Lovin' It! Subway.
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 14 (with Freddie Arthur) - Animals on Trial

Freddie Arthur (stand up comedian, Raw National Finalist 2025) tells us some very interesting things about various legal cases from the olden days involving pigs, a donkey, chickens, and a swarm of insects. We're all entities here.
'When they caught up to him [some man], he was a goat.' Did they really catch up to him then? (I don't think so.)
We discuss whether Sonic the Hedgehog is a fox, talk about going in the cupboard, and have a bit of fruit toast. Tim is the biographer and he also tells us a joke about interstate polling centres that is really good. 
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Freddie on Instagram
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram
 

Episode 13 - Just Tink, Jamothy Chalamet!

We like to find the ultimate segment around here. We finalise the Shoutout Pantheon, Tim's language nerd comes out yet again and we begin to construct a new language. Sah ranch bipbipbip, sah ranch bapbapbap. (You throw around bird, you throw around dog.) No one's holding a gun to your head, get in the goldilocks zone!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 12 - This Is Shopping

Tim describes a series of crimes he committed as an extremely young boy and then we get to work. Sea-based guns, stopped clocks, a portal between the Gilmore Girls and Sopranos universes—all of these things come up for discussion in this episode if I'm honest. Enjoy!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram
 

Episode 11 - Champing at the Blinkers

or, Playing Chicken with the Guys. We talk about the time they tried to make a Sonic movie but he looked like a little freak. Also coming in for the Ultimate Segment treatment are lamb jarmalade, Lambothy Charlemagne, and how a mouse in need is a mouse indeed. All before entering The Microcosm. Enjoy!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 10 (with Bea Barbeau-Scurla) - Nephew-Based Clothing Choices

Comedian Bea Barbeau-Scurla joins us to talk running without breathing, not explaining your behaviour, crushing vs. merging in mobile games, and whether Sonic is ham-related. Tim and I interrupt Bea frequently with puns and she becomes rude to us toward the end of the episode. Enjoy!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Bea on Instagram
Bea's Wednesday night comedy room Grub
Cabanossi Primary, Tristan's MICF show running April 10 - 12
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 9 - The Modern Navy

We talk about the time of "8 midnight", how Sonic dyes himself blue, sparkling water bombs, the Modern Navy, and a cafe called Aye Aye Captain on a naval base. Enjoy!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Tim is in a Melbourne Comedy Festival lineup show on Friday April 4, Lord Give Us Laughs, featuring comics from religious backgrounds.
Cabanossi Primary, Tristan's MICF show running April 10 - 12
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram

Episode 8 - A Pre-Emptive Strike Against the Sun

I don't understand what is going on with the show anymore. Tim seems distracted. We introduce a new segment, something about toast. There's a technical hitch. Enjoy!
Rate, subscribe, and write into the show with segment suggestions and drivel ultimatesegment@gmail.com
Cabanossi Primary, Tristan's MICF show running April 10 - 12
Tim on Instagram
Tristan on Instagram